Jackie Clarke Loves Graffiti: September 2005

Baboon Ass

I am so excited! Someone else sent me some graffiti! Of course it is from the C train. The C train has, in my opinion, the best graffiti in the city.

The comments below are, Dan McInerney's. He's the sweet sweet man who sent me this. Yay Dan!

Little Chris is saying “There you are sweating your ass off on the platform for half an hour because the conductor of the “C” train is jackin’ off to a photo of a baboon’s ass!”
Man, two asses in one sentence? He really is the strongest comedic voice of his generation.
And, no, I don’t know why the C is in quotation marks.

Victory Cheese

My blogging buddy, Victory Cheese, sent me a great SAN FRAN graffiti that I have to post. Personally, I am always surprised when a notoriously liberal part of the country spews racist bile. But the response to the graffiti is very San Fran. I think the author runs a group therapy session on anger management and has recently fulfilled a life-long dream of taking a stand-up comedy class.

The comments below are Sean's.

"On a gas station bathroom door in the Castro. My eye was first caught by the offensive scrawl in the pic to the upper right. But I cackled in delight when I saw the response written underneath it. Now that's elevating bathroom graffiti insults to a high art."

Fat Ass Rant

"Does this butt make this room look small? No, it makes you look stupid."

I have to agree with Jai. There are so many things wrong with this ad that even the graffiti can't save it. Not that Jai didn't try. I really hate this whole dumb Manhattan Mini Storage campaign. All of the ads are stupid but this one takes the cake. Can you imagine posing for this picture? I guarantee this was a non-union job. The stark white background and unfunny copy drip with non-union. This ad is why I refuse to go in on print auditions. Waste a perfect afternoon of goofing off so I can bend over and have someone take a picture of my ass. I think I spend enough in therapy, thank you.

But I am sure the woman who posed is quite happy with her $250 and no residuals. And is not consumed with shame every single time she boards the N train. Geesh, what a rant. Really, who am I to judge? I auditioned for a Mazda voice over where I played a crack whore who was pistol-whipped for wanting gas.

This graffiti was supplied by Ari Scott. Yay!

Political Baby

Fitzgerald and Fitzgerald - they fight for brain damaged kids. What's that little sick baby saying?

"Out of Iraq."

Even little baby's who can't speak somehow manage to communicate the need to get out of Iraq.

Lord of War

Graffiti found on "Lord of War" posters.

Mostly Bush-haters. I find it rare to pass an unblemished "Lord of War" poster, as I did yesterday in Soho. Maybe fancy makes people less political.

"He's just trying to make a buck." Oddly sympathetic to the Lord of War. Maybe Condoleeza Rice scrawled this one when she was buying shoes in NYC last week.

"Impeach Bush." Why did he have sex?

This one is a federal crime: "I will kill Bush & Brown. Cheney's dead already. Dayam. New Orleans is sinful." The rambling yet earnest nature of this statement makes me think Kayne West rides the C train.

My personal favorite. Even with the world a mess and our government fumbling like a gaggle of drunken stepfathers, people still hope and people still love.

"Erin *heart* Nano"

Thank god for 12 year old girls.

Chris Rock Poo Monger

Everybody Hates Chris coming soon to the UPN. I love the fall TV season-what shows will fail? What shows will succeed? Everybody Hates Chris looks really funny. I wonder what the pilot's about.

I should have known. It's about Chris Rock turding on his father's head. And lemme tell you something. That man doesn't look like he's going to turn away from the turd any time soon. He's gonna take it. Like a man.